innocence

The first feeling I remember is innocence, but the very acknowledgement of that means I was losing some of it that day. I was barely able to walk at this point, but I was running around all the time. I grabbed a crumpled up piece of paper, or maybe tissue out of the garbage can and ran into the next room. I can vaguely recall that my brother was getting annoyed with me. He kept telling me to put it back in the garbage. In my bliss however, I had other plans for this piece of garbage.

In the next room there was a wall. Nothing too special about the wall except that it had a hole about two feet off the floor in it. I really can’t remember why there was a hole there, but somebody had knocked a hole through the plaster at some point. I giggled and frolicked over to the hole, gently shoving the paper into the hole. My brother would come over and glare down at me; I would laugh. He would take the paper out of the hole, and throw it away again. I would keep getting it anyway.

After being scolded by my brother and my mom about this annoyance I stopped. I left the paper in the garbage, realizing that I shouldn’t be doing it. I didn’t know why I shouldn’t be doing it, but it seemed to annoy my brother and mom for some reason. Later, when they weren’t paying attention, I stuck the paper back in the hole, and I don’t know why.